Feeling Grateful

So often we talk about being grateful to Allah (swt) for the things we have been given but sometimes it takes a while for the realization to really set in for what we have and what we haven't been tested with.

Although, I am usually around patients and see different diseases, I tend to look at them from a learner's/doctor's perspective until the last few days when people I know have told me of their afflictions and I've got to see the emotional effects of those problems. Alhumdulillah, none are life-threatening, yet it is something that also pains them to be suffering from such problems. And that's when I realize how lucky I am (not in a selfish way) that Allah (swt) hasn't tried me in this manner as yet. I really feel bad for them and try to cheer them up and try to help them see the brighter side of things as well. And it also makes me realize that even though people may not be going through the same trials I face but surely Allah tests us all in our own ways. So, instead of focusing on the difficulties we are facing, we should focus on the things we are NOT being tried with.

Whenever you realize that Allah (swt) protected you from something, say Alhumdulillah and thank Allah and ask Him to continue to bless you in what you have. If your dua is accepted, then pray 2 rakaats non-obligatory prayer and thank Him. And keep asking Allah (swt) to protect you and your family and friends and other Muslims.

(PS: I know I haven't added any hadith or Quranic ayahs regarding this matter as I normally do. It's because I've been a bit busy lately & will find some soon but this topic has been on my mind this week and I wanted to share it. But feel free to share the ones you know in this matter and I'll include them in my post.)

Manners Of Giving Sincere Naseeha/Advice

- An extract of an article by Kamil Mufti in Al Jumuah Magazine.

Seeking the Pleasure of Allah by giving Naseehah

It is necessary that a person has the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allah when giving naseehah. Only such an intention deserves reward from Allah and acceptance from His slaves.

If the intention is other than that, then that person deserves the anger and wrath of Allah as well as the hatred and rejection of the people - including the one being advised.

Not slandering the one being advised

This is an affliction that has befallen many Muslims. Many times, after taking a closer look, we find that the person giving naseehah actually wants to slander the person he is advising because of personal hatred. This does not befit the one being advised and may lead to a worse situation with no benefit resulting from the naseehah.

Naseehah is to be given in secret

Naseehah is most likely to bear its fruit when given to a person when he is by himself, for in such a situation the person is less likely to be affected by the thoughts of others. The sincere advisor should not aid the Devil over his brother by publicly rebuking him and letting Shaitaan beguile his brother into not taking the naseehah. This closes the doors of goodness and acceptance, and reduces the chances of the naseehah from being accepted.

This is why our pious predecessors used to give naseehah in secret. Hafidh Ibn Rajab writes, "When the righteous predecessors intended to give naseehah to someone, they admonished him privately, to the point that some of them said, "The one who exhorts his brother between him and himself , then it is naseehah. The one who exhorts him in front of people, then it is merely scolding!"

Fudail Ibn Ayyadh, one of the pious scholars from our predecessors, said, "A believer covers up and gives naseehah, whereas an evildoer exposes and humiliates." Ibn Rajab commented on Fudail's saying, "It is naseehah if it is with a cover, while humiliating is with broadcasting."

Naseehah is to be given with kindness, gentleness and softness

A sincere advisor must be kind, soft and well-mannered in giving naseehah to others, as this might get the desired response from the one he is advising. One must understand that accepting naseehah is like opening a door, and that the door will not open without the proper key. The one who is given naseehah has a heart that has a lock in some matter - for he has abandoned something that Allah has demanded from him, or has committed something that Allah had forbidden him from. There is no better key to unlock the heart than kindness in giving advice, gentleness in exhortation and softness in speech as the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) has said, "Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty, and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective." [Muslim]

Do not compel others to follow one's Naseehah

It is wajib (obligatory) on the advisor to render sincere advice to others, but it is not his right to compel others to follow his advice as well. That is the right of the Muslim ruler upon his subjects or a Muslim Qadhi (Judge) in his jurisdiction. A sincere advisor is one who guides toward goodness, but he is not to command others to act upon it.

Ibn Hazm writes that one should not give naseehah on the condition that it must be accepted, otherwise if one goes beyond this, he will be oppressing not advising, and seeking obedience and control. In another passage, Ibn Hazm writes that if a person is mistaken in his advice, he would be expecting people to follow him in his mistake.

Choosing the proper time to give Naseehah

The one giving naseehah must choose the right time to give his advice, since a person is not always ready to receive naseehah.A person may be angry about something, upset about not getting what he wanted, grieved for something he may have lost, or there may be some other reason that might prevent him from responding to the naseehah.

Abdul Hamid Bilali writes, "Choosing proper time and place is one of the greatest causes for the acceptance of naseehah and eradicating evil", and as Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud said, "Hearts (sometimes) yearn and are attentive, but (sometimes) they go through lapses and feed repulsion. So take from them when they are (in a state of) yearning and are attentive, and leave them alone when they go through lapses and are feeling repulsion."

Naseehah that is against Islam is not to be followed

Giving naseehah is part of Sharia. Therefore, if someone gives advice to leave a deen demanded by the Sharia or to perform a forbidden deed, then it is not called naseehah. The one giving such should quit doing that and the one being advised should not accept it. For instance, if someone tells you to shave your beard, to expose some part of the body by taking off the hijab, to shake hands with women on job interviews, to date the girl you are interested in, to take a job at a gas station that sells alcohol, or to go see the latest movie, then you should not obey. These matters are not counted as naseehah which the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) made part of the religion.